2025 has been a year! I’m happy to make it over the line crawling! This year threw not a single curveball. Rather, it hurled wrecking balls at me with a fully invested swing! I walk away bruised, shell-shocked and perhaps slightly delirious from the adrenaline ride that I have just come off. One lesson that I limp away with is this: there is a liberating power in letting go. Letting go of anything that no longer serves your highest self. Si, I’m shifting my perspective going into 2026. SUBTRACT!
What if this year, you did something out of the ordinary? What if you focused on subtraction instead?
The Weight of Accumulated Years
By the time you hit your 40s, you’re likely dragging around decades of accumulated obligations, commitments, relationships, possessions, habits, and identities that made sense once but don’t anymore. I don’t know about you, but this back can’t take it anymore. Consider letting it go. You’ve become a living museum of past versions of yourself, curating dusty exhibits that no longer represent who you are or want to be. And frankly? It’s exhausting.
The real work isn’t adding more to your already overflowing plate. It’s having the guts to subtract what’s weighing you down.
Why Addition Feels Safer Than Subtraction
We love addition because it feels like progress. A new habit signals growth! A new commitment shows we’re engaged! A new goal proves we haven’t given up! Addition is optimistic, forward-looking, and socially acceptable. Nobody judges you for wanting to do more. You’re ambitious! You’re driven! You’re crushing it!
Subtraction, though? Subtraction feels like quitting. It looks like failure to people who don’t get it. It requires disappointing people, letting go of sunk costs, and admitting that something you once valued no longer serves you. Subtraction means saying no, setting boundaries, and accepting that you can’t do everything. And that’s uncomfortable as hell.
But here’s what you’ve learned by now: addition without subtraction is just accumulation. And accumulation? That leads to clutter, overwhelm, and a life that feels more like a storage unit than a home.
What Subtraction Actually Looks Like
Subtraction isn’t about becoming some minimalist monk who owns three things. I tried it. I failed. Don’t judge me! It’s about creating space for what matters by eliminating what doesn’t.
It’s recognizing that every yes is a no to something else. When you say yes to that committee, you’re saying no to Tuesday evenings with your family. When you say yes to maintaining that high-maintenance friendship, you’re saying no to deeper connections with people who actually energize you. Every commitment you keep out of guilt is stealing space from something you’d choose with genuine enthusiasm.
It’s understanding that not all effort is valuable. You’ve spent years believing that working harder is always better, that persistence is always virtuous, that quitting is always failure. But sometimes? Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is stop trying. Stop trying to make that dead-end project work. Stop trying to fix that relationship that’s been broken for years. Stop trying to be good at something you hate. Your effort is precious. Spend it wisely, my friend.
It’s accepting that energy is your most finite resource. You can’t do everything anymore—if you ever could. Your energy for drama? Gone. Your tolerance for nonsense? Extinct. Your capacity for things that don’t matter? Completely depleted. This isn’t a failure of willpower. This is wisdom knocking at your door. Listen to it!
What to Consider Subtracting This Year
Getting specific about subtraction requires brutally honest inventory. Here are the categories worth examining:
Obligations that no longer align with your values. You’re not the person who agreed to this commitment anymore. You’ve changed, your priorities have shifted, your capacity has evolved. You’re allowed to renegotiate or exit entirely! The discomfort of disappointing people is temporary. The resentment of honoring dead commitments? That’s permanent.
Relationships that drain more than they nourish. Not every relationship needs to be deep, but none should leave you feeling worse about yourself. If someone consistently makes you feel small, anxious, or exhausted, that’s data. You don’t owe anyone indefinite access to your time and emotional energy just because they’ve had it in the past. Period.
Habits that worked once but don’t anymore. Maybe you spent your 30s at the gym six days a week, but now that schedule is destroying your body instead of building it. Maybe you used to thrive on constant social plans, but now you need solitude to recharge. Your habits should serve your current life, not memorialize your past one.
The performance of productivity. All those systems, apps, routines, and optimization strategies you’ve accumulated—are they helping you live better or just making you feel busy? Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is stop optimizing and just do the work. Or better yet? Do less work that matters more.
Physical clutter that represents old identities. Those clothes from when you were a different size, books you’ll never read, hobby supplies from interests you’ve abandoned, equipment for a sport you no longer play. These aren’t neutral objects sitting innocently in your closet. They’re daily reminders of who you’re supposed to be instead of who you are. Let them go!
The Liberation of Less
Here’s what happens when you start subtracting: you remember what spaciousness feels like. You rediscover energy you thought was gone forever. You realize how much mental bandwidth was being consumed by obligations you didn’t even want. (As millennial me sings along to Release Me by Agnes—don’t @ me.)
You might feel guilty at first. You might worry about what people will think. You might second-guess every deletion and wonder if you’re giving up too easily. Or perhaps that you’re being a touch too harsh. Take this moment—be selfish. What is best for you? Follow that authentic lead.
Stick with that discomfort. After some time, something shifts. The relief arrives like a long-held breath finally released. The clarity shines through. You realize that all that time and energy you were spending on things that didn’t matter is now available for things that do. You’re not doing less of everything—you’re doing more of what counts and none of what doesn’t.
Your Subtraction Practice for This Year
Start by making a list. Not a to-do list, but a to-stop list. What are you currently doing that you’d be relieved to stop? What commitments make you roll your eyes into a new prescription when they appear on your calendar? What relationships leave you feeling depleted? What habits are you maintaining out of stubbornness rather than actual value?
Pick one thing from that list. Not everything. Just one. Practice saying no. Practice letting it go. Practice tolerating the discomfort of disappointing someone or abandoning something you’ve invested in.
Then notice what happens. Notice the space that opens up. Notice what wants to grow there naturally, without being forced or scheduled or optimized into submission.
The goal isn’t to do nothing. It’s to do what matters, unencumbered by everything that doesn’t.
This year, your most powerful resolution might not be what you’ll start doing. It might be what you’ll finally stop.
What are you ready to subtract?